What’s Your Excuse… For Not Being Awesome? [Happy (Anti)Fitspo Friday!]

AppId is over the quota AppId is over the quota

I know you’ve seen it. There’s been a thing going around the past few days. No, not the flu (although it might make you feel sickish) but rather a picture, of a mom and her kids. It was supercute until the mom, a fitness blogger, tried to turn it into “fitspiration” by adding text to it:


 


What’s your excuse? Huh??


And it all went downhill from there. (Or uphill, depending on your feelings about fame for the sake of fame.) People hated her. People loved her. People attacked her from every possible angle. People defended her. She jumped in the fray and issued a “sorry not sorry” apology which only upped the ante until it reached the apex of all Internet memes: a spot on the Today show.


Which is why I wasn’t going to say anything about this. It’s mostly all been said and I honestly couldn’t think of a way to discuss it without sounding judge-y. (Which I’m trying hard to do less of!) I don’t know this lady from any other woman sexily posing in spandex in flattering light. If you want my personal opinion, sure, this rubbed me the wrong way. But I found it no more offensive than the majority of fitspo. And hey, it even has a redeeming feature that most fitspo lacks: props made of adorable kiddos! One of which even looks as if he is exploding from his mom’s womb rightthisverysecond! It’s not quite as cool as the birthing barn at the fair (oh yes, that’s a thing) but still, babies are fun. And if she’s going to use sex to sell then I think it was very forthright of her to remind us of the end result of sexy times. Truth in advertising!


Plus, you see the face of the little dude on the right? To heck with her, I want to do whatever workout he’s doing because he looks awesome! All of which got me thinking: If you move the “What’s your excuse?” line over his head, the picture takes on a whole new meaning. What’s your excuse for not being awesome today? I love it.


Last week I had so much fun doing my “anti-fitspiration” (lifespiration?) that I decided to take this one and run with it. Maybe I’ll make it a weekly thing? Happy (anti)Fitspo Friday!


 


 #HappyIsAnAge


Sure the fit mommy is adorbs but If I’m going to pick a model to inspire me, it’s going to be this lady! I don’t work out for flat abs or diet for a bikini – I live healthfully so I can not only make it to my 100th birthday but so I can do the Cha Cha Slide with my grandkids! Wearing a feather boa, naturally. (This is Gym Buddy Megan’s grandma, who I was privileged to include in an article for Shape.)


What about you – If you could put ANY lady (or gent!) on your inspiration board, who would it be?? What do you think of the whole “What’s your excuse” controversy?


P.S. If you’re wondering what a Singapore Sling is (like I was), it’s a cocktail that was popular around World War I made with gin, cherry brandy, grenadine syrup and club soda!

Tagged as: fitspiration, humor, lifespiration, Maria Kang, you be you

How My Exercise Addiction Suppressed My Thyroid And Made Me Gain 10 Pounds in One Month [Research: The relationship between exercise and hypothyroidism]

AppId is over the quota AppId is over the quota

*Warning for possible triggers regarding eating disorders.*


 


 Your body grows and repairs when you rest – even babies know that! And also: Babeez spooooning!! Awwwwww.


“How did you find time to exercise 3-6 hours a day?” (I organized everything else in my life around exercise, didn’t sleep much and did insane stuff like shuttle sprints in the dark parking lot after doing my grocery shopping. Also, I didn’t watch TV.)


“How skinny did you get?” (Not as skinny as you’d think I would have been.)


“I want an exercise addiction, hahah!” (Come over here so I can smack you.)


“No seriously, that’s really a problem?” (Yes. It’s a type of eating disorder.)


Over the years as I’ve spoken more openly about my years of compulsive over exercise, people understandably have lots of questions. But one question I’ve gotten a lot lately is “How did you know you needed help?” The sad-but-true answer is I didn’t. I was so deep into my illness that I couldn’t see it for what it was. But I can tell you what finally drove me to seek medical care.


It wasn’t the runs in the dark in the middle of winter at 4 a.m and again at 10 p.m. It wasn’t leaving my son’s hospital bed to go do a high-intensity interval class instead of showering for the first time in three days or sleep. It wasn’t when I fainted after running a marathon followed by an hour of kickboxing – can’t miss a workout! – without drinking or eating anything and then being carried down the gym stairs by a friend who tried to make me drink a Vitamin Water which I refused because it had 50 calories. It wasn’t even when my heart started doing this weird sick jumping in my chest and I briefly wondered if I was going to die on the floor in front of my young children.


No, the thing that made me finally talk to a doctor was when I gained ten pounds in one month because all my over-training (fancy code word for compulsive over-exercise) had suppressed my thyroid. Those 10 pounds completely unhinged me. That is how deeply ill I was.


A lot of people are surprised by the connection between over-training (even if it’s not an addiction or disorder) and an under-functioning thyroid. I know I was sure surprised when my doctor told me the results of my blood tests. I’d never had thyroid issues before! As she gently went through my daily schedule with me she observed dryly, “You’ve beat your thyroid to death. Literally, with all that kick boxing.”


I gulped. “So what do I do?”


“You stop.”


“Stop what?”


“All of it.” I almost fainted.


And with that pronouncement I was on doctor-ordered rest from all exercise – even walking on the treadmill! – for 8 long weeks after which point we’d retest my thyroid.


I was reminded of this moment when I read this little story on Athlete.io (thanks Stephanie for the tip!):



“I watch my friend Jessica running on the treadmill—day after day, year after year—like a madwoman, and going nowhere. Her body seems to get softer with every mile, and the softer she gets, the more she runs.


She’s still fat. Actually, she’s gotten fatter.


I’ve tried to rescue her from the clutches of cardio in the past, but my efforts didn’t work until a month ago, when she called to tell me that a blood test had confirmed her doctor’s suspicion: She had hypothyroidism, meaning her body no longer made enough thyroid hormone.


Her metabolism had slowed to a snail’s pace, and the fat was accumulating. This was her body rebelling. When Jessica asked for my advice, I told her to do two things: To schedule a second test for two weeks later, and to stop all the g*****ed running until then.


She took my suggestion and cut out the cardio. Two weeks later, her T3 count was normal. Go figure.”


Because, it turned out, my story ended the same way as Jessica’s: without any other medical or drug intervention other than not exercising, after the 8 weeks my thyroid levels had returned to normal and I stopped gaining weight.


Your thyroid is basically the corrupt dictator of your body: it controls everything, is very picky, and if you defy it, it will burn your house down. The pituitary gland releases TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) which tells the thyroid to release T3 and T4. Often when labs “check your thyroid” they are only measuring your TSH levels. Too high means your thyroid is not producing enough hormones, also known as hypothyroidism (inferred because all the TSH means that the normal dose isn’t releasing enough T3 and T4 so the body keeps cranking up production). Too low means your thyroid is over producing, known as hyperthyroidism – which has its own set of issues. What numbers are “too high” and “too low” is actually something of a debate these days and can also depend on which type of test they do so it’s really important to read your test results carefully. The lab notes should say what the “normal” range is and even if you fall in it, if you’re close to either end you may still have symptoms. In addition, you can ask for a “full-panel” thyroid test which can include free T3, free T4 , reverse T3, and cortisol markers  because TSH sometimes doesn’t give the whole picture. (At least that’s the way I understand it. This is whole thing is more complicated than calculus so if I screwed up something in this explanation please correct me!! Except for the dictator analogy ’cause I dig it.)


It’s been known for a long time that stress can influence thyroid performance but it’s only been recently that scientists have really looked into how the particular stress of exercise can mess with your ‘roid. A 2012 study recruited a bunch of healthy males volunteers and put them in three groups: a) a group that did 45 minutes of steady state exercise at about 60% of their VO2 max (non-geek speak: they were doing a normal “comfortably hard” tempo run on the treadmill), b) a group that did 45 minutes of high-intensity intervals at 100-110% of their VO2 max (non-geek speak: Gaaaahhhhh most painful workout ever! Seriously 45 minutes of that level of HIIT? I’m kinda shocked none of the participants puked or fainted), and c) the control group of dudes who did nothing.


The researchers then measured the “full panel” of thyroid markers. Their findings were pretty interesting. Both exercising groups saw a spike in thyroid hormones post exercise BUT 12 hours later their hormones dropped way below their baseline levels and stayed abnormally low for 24-48 hours afterward. The effect was worse for the HIIT group. (Charlotte’s note: I’m no scientist but I would guess that’s because the sadists made the poor suckers do super high-intensity HIIT for 45 ever-loving minutes. Other studies have shown that short – like 4 to 15 minute – HIIT workouts are optimal. This type of training is extremely stressful on your body so to maximize the metabolic benefits, you gotta keep it short!)


Another interesting note in the study said that observational analysis of larger groups like military training camps showed that when people exercising also have reduced caloric intake, high emotional stress, and/or a lack of adequate sleep, (sound like anyone you know?) the effect on the thyroid is abysmally worse.


A separate study agreed, “[the data] makes a compelling case that too much cardio can impair the production of the thyroid hormone T3, its effectiveness and metabolism, particularly when accompanied by caloric restriction, an all too common practice. Women inadvertently put themselves into a hypothyroid condition when they perform too much steady-state cardio.” [Charlotte's note: Thanks to all our baby-making machinery, women seem to be more susceptible to this phenomenon than men. The scientists speculated that when we expend large amounts of energy exercising our bodies assume that we're in trouble and start downregulating our whole system to preserve our ability to support a fetus.]


AthleteIO explains it this way:



No matter which way we hope the body works, its endgame is always survival. If you waste energy running, your body will react by slowing your metabolism to conserve energy. Decreasing energy output is biologically savvy for your body. Your body wants to survive longer while you do what it views as a stressful, useless activity. Decreasing T3 production increases efficiency and adjusts your metabolism to preserve energy immediately.


Nothing exemplifies this increasing efficiency better than the way the body starts burning fuel. Training consistently at 65 percent or more of your max heart rate adapts your body to save as much body fat as possible. After regular training, fat cells stop releasing fat the way they once did during moderate-intensity activities. Energy from body fat stores also decreases by 30 percent. To this end, your body sets into motion a series of reactions that make it difficult for muscle to burn fat at all. Instead of burning body fat, your body takes extraordinary measures to retain it. [Emphasis mine]


Short version: If you workout too much – particularly by doing long stretches of medium or high intensity cardio (i.e. running, jogging, or biking NOT walking) – it stresses out your body which raises your cortisol levels. The stress suppresses the function of your thyroid. This signals your body to retain and store fat along with making you extra tired so you won’t be as inclined to burn as many calories. And that? Equals 10 pounds gained in one month from exercising too much.


How do you know if this is happening to you? The most common symptoms of a failing thyroid include fatigue, increased sensitivity to cold, constipation, dry skin, unexplained weight gain, muscle weakness, thinning hair, slowed heart rate, depression and impaired memory. I can tell you that I had every one of these symptoms but you may have just some or others not listed.


How much exercise is too much? While you can suppress your thyroid with weight lifting it’s far more common to do it with excessive cardio. At the height of my disorder I was doing 3-6 hours of intentional exercise (like classes, running, biking) a day. BUT the effects are cumulative over time and so even when I tried cutting back to “just” 2 hours a day, my problems continued to get worse. The other issue is how often you are working out – I was doing 6-7 days a week with no rest days ever. That’s dumb. Your thyroid levels take a minimum of 24 hours and can take up to 6 days (!) to fully recover, depending on how hard you worked.


How long do you need to rest? I get this question a LOT. Honestly this depends on your personal physiology, how long you’ve been over-exercising, the intensity of the exercise and other mitigating factors like stress, sleep, diet and pregnancy. For me 8 weeks was what it took. I read the story of an Olympic swimmer who needed 6 months. You may only need a week. Unless you measure your thyroid levels before and after (like I did) then you won’t know for sure but a good rule of thumb is to rest until you feel the symptoms are totally gone. Also, I had to work back into exercise slowly and from that day forward (up to and including now!) I’ve been under doctor’s orders to not workout more than 1 hour per day.


Do you need medication? Thankfully I hadn’t permanently damaged my thyroid so it came back up to normal function on its own. Others may need medication to help. Only your doctor can tell you what you need to do.


Anything else I can do to make it heal faster? My doctor instructed me to increase my consumption of iodine-fortified table salt (wheeee!) and if I ate cruciferous veggies like cabbage, broccoli and cauliflower to make sure they were cooked.


Moral of the science story: One of the scientists, when asked what people should take away from this research, answered simply, “The benefit from exercise, and there is a benefit, is from the adaptation, not the activity itself.” In other words, your muscles only grow when you rest!


Moral of the Charlotte story: Not exercising will make you sick and gain weight. Exercising too much will make you sick and gain weight. Don’t be me. Find that sweet spot where you exercise to live not live to exercise!


Did I miss any questions about hypothyroidism from overtraining? Ask away and I’ll add the Q&A up here in the main post. Have any of you ever struggled with your thyroid? Any advice to add??


*Note: I am not a doctor and none of this is intended as medical advice. Just use this as a jumping off point to talk to your doctor about your concerns!

Tagged as: cardio, exercise addiction, hypothyroidism, over exercise, research, running

“We Have a No Boys Policy”: Can You Protect Girls Without Sacrificing Boys? [Plus: Chris Brown Proves Boys Can Be Rape Victims Too]

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

myboys

 My favorite boys!

(Backstory: One on the right just won a trophy for his Pikachu pinewood derby car and the one on the left is having a meltdown because he didn’t win anything. It’s tough being the second child. Of course the third kid, on the far left, cared about nothing but the cake.)

Controversy is Chris Brown’s middle name. The rapper is a master of taking a bad situation and spinning it to look even worse. (Everyone remember the time he beat the crap out of then-girlfriend Rihanna? And then got a tattoo of her battered face on his neck?? Okay, good.) To say I’m not a fan would be an understatement. But this past week he gave an interview that made my heart break for him. He told The Guardian that he “lost his virginity” when he was eight years old to a 14- or 15- year old girl. (Not even going to put the full quote here as it kinda makes me want to barf. Feel free to click through to read it though.)

Brown seemed to see it as an accomplishment, evidence of his ultimate studliness I guess. Many media reports centered on that aspect as well. But for me, the only thing I could think was that he didn’t “lose his virginity”, he was raped as a child. And unfortunately rape for boys can bear an even greater stigma than rape for girls, leading them to report it less, hide it longer and even to try to reframe it, as Brown did, as some kind of weird sexcapade where they aren’t the victim. Except 8-year-olds can’t consent. The end. Which is why it was so baffling to me to read article after article where they challenged the truth of his story, minimized it with an eyeroll, snickered about karma or even congratulated him. Just because he’s not a sympathetic victim doesn’t mean he’s not a victim. Boys can be victims too.

Before I had Jelly Bean, I was a Mom of Boys. Birthing three boys in three years made me an expert in Thomas the Train, the various types of pirate swords and the exact moment when wrestling crosses the line from fun to fratricide. (It’s a very distinctive shriek.) It also made me an expert in how society views “boys just being boys.” This was a pretty eye opening experience for me as, being a girl, duh, I’d spent the majority of my life up to that point thinking about how society views girls.

It started early with a stranger at the park telling my son not to cry when he fell because he was a “big boy and boys don’t cry.” After that, there was criticism for letting my son have a “pink party” for his 4th birthday (it was his favorite color!), letting another son buy a Nerf gun with his birthday money (it does not mean he’s going to grow up to be a serial killer!) and potty training another by letting him pee on a tree in our backyard (in hindsight that one may not have been the most brilliant plan). It all culminated when my boys started school. I remember one meeting with a well-meaning but clueless teacher who insisted my son was ADHD and needed to be medicated as I kept insisting that his behavior was quite normal for little boys as they learn by movement. I left in tears, sobbing to my husband that it wasn’t fair that typical classroom protocol is geared towards girls’ strengths and that boys are vilified for doing what boys at that age naturally do. (You can argue with me in the comments on this point if you wish but it’s pretty well documented. Check out “Raising Cain” for a good read on the subject.)

It was in that moment I realized that I was going to have be an advocate for my boys through their entire school career – because no one else was going to. I know that sounds dramatic (me? never!) but I’ve spent the better part of a decade doing just that. And the kid with supposed ADHD? We had him repeat Kindergarten because he was very young for his grade and also immature for his age and that next year, he did wonderfully. It wasn’t a disease that needed to medicated out of him, it was him needing more time for his body to catch up to his mind – a developmental occurrence that seems to happen more often in boys than in girls. True, I don’t know if that scenario would have played out differently if he were a girl but judging from my daughter, who at three can already sit still longer than her next oldest brother at seven, I don’t think the issue would have even come up.

Now I don’t want to be “that mom” who thinks her little darlings are perfect and lets her boys go through life doing whatever destructive thing their hearts desire. All our kids must abide by the same rules of civility and decorum. I also think that the world is still very much a “man’s world” which is why I’m trying very hard to teach them now how to be respectful of women and kind to everyone. But there’s a difference between teaching boys they need to be careful with their power and teaching them that they’re bad simply because they’re boys.

Obviously I get a little defensive when people make assumptions about my boys simply based on their gender. And it was with all this history that I went into a conversation with another mom at school the other day. Her daughter is in Jelly Bean’s preschool and the girls wanted to play together so we were trying to arrange a playdate. Then she dropped this bomb on me: “We have a no brothers policy.” – explaining that Jelly Bean would have to play at her house because her daughter was not allowed to play at houses with boys in them.

DSC_0376-001How is this not fun?! 

I’ll admit it: My immediate reaction was anger – don’t make my sweet boys into criminals! (Who are only 11-, 9- and 7-years old after all!) If we tell boys that they’re dangerous simply because they’re boys they’ll either hate themselves or it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. And what does that say to Jelly Bean? That she should fear her brothers? But then I felt sad. Clearly the mom has had a bad experience in the past that has really scarred her.

I wasn’t sure what to do about my playdate dilemma (and all my mixed feelings) so I put it up on Facebook. 85 extremely passionate comments later I’m still processing it all. Apparently this idea of boys and how they should be treated as they develop into men is a very sensitive subject. The comments seemed to fall in one of three categories:

1. Ditch the playdate because the mom obviously has issues that at best make her rude and at worst make her a man-hating harpy who will mess up Jelly Bean. There may also be something hinky going on at her house. You don’t need the drama.

2. Ask her for more information and then based on her answer, decide which course of action feels right. Some added the suggestion to meet in a neutral place like the park where we could both supervise our kids playing and get to know each other better.

3. Be sensitive to the mom’s wishes because she obviously has her reasons and statistically speaking more crimes are committed by males. After all, the little girl and Jelly Bean could simply play while all her brothers are at school, right?(I was also amazed at how many commenters in this category admitted to having the same policy or a similar “no male caretakers” rule for their kids. Some pointed out that it was as much to protect their husbands/sons from false accusations as it was to protect their kids from being molested by others.)

And then there were the dozens of private messages I got from people who didn’t want to post about their childhood abuse on my public FB wall but still wanted me to know how the woman’s policy made perfect sense from their perspective. I even heard from a friend who works at a women’s prison and she shared how her job has changed how she looks at men and what decisions she makes for her own young daughter. It’s a scary world we live in.

DSC_0295v

 It’s true – I worry far more about protecting her from sexual violence than I do my boys. 

I appreciated every single person’s perspective because honestly I hadn’t put a lot of thought into this before and clearly it elicits deep feelings in a lot of people. I had started in a place of sheer defensiveness and needed to come to a place of understanding. In the end I realized that it comes down to risk assessment and mitigation. It’s a scary enough topic for a woman thinking just of herself – how many times have you or I had to make the calculation between riding an elevator with a strange man or taking the dark stairs in a parking garage? And I realized that as much as I hated hearing her say it out loud, I too have made the same decision under other circumstances. It was just last week after all when I wrote about having a bad experience with a male yoga teacher and then never having gone to another yoga class taught by a man since. I didn’t even know them and yet I was afraid of them simply because of their gender.

But how much risk one can handle become infinitely more difficult when it comes to your precious kiddos. At that realization, my anger melted away as quickly as it had lit up. So I decided to go with option #2. The next time I ran into her, she brought up the playdate and again suggested her house. So I casually (I hope – my “casual” can often come off as twitchy weirdo) asked her why. And she said what in retrospect is the only thing she really could have said: “Well you can never be too safe!”

Except that you can. I know first hand how worry, when left unchecked, can lock you into your own tiny prison. Sure, no one can hurt you in there but at the same time no one can love you or help you either. And you can’t see the bright sun in the blue sky without all the bars getting in the way. I’ve learned the hard way that taking risks, especially when it comes to other people, can be a beautiful thing – even if it sometimes takes pain to get there. Even though I’ve had the misfortune, especially as a survivor of sexual assault, to come across some evil, awful or just inconsiderate men in my lifetime, I’ve had the privilege to know so many more good, honest, brave, kind and gentle men. My dad. My husband. My brother. My sons. All are not just good people, they’re some of the best people I know. And they’re not amazing in spite of being men, they’re amazing, in part, because they are men.

But ultimately none of that is important in this case. In the end the only thing that mattered was that this was her rule. This was her line in the sand. This was her protecting her daughter the best way she knew how. And not only are her reasons for it not my business, it’s also not my job to talk her out of it. Her choice is not my choice but that doesn’t make it less valid. The only question left was if I can live with her rule.

Honestly I’m still not sure. Part of me wants to defend my boys – and innocent little boys everywhere – on principle. Boys are not bad because they’re boys. It’s true there is still so much discrimination against women in the world but that doesn’t mean that discriminating against boys will make that right. It just means everyone loses. But on the other hand, I have a lot more compassion for this mom and, as a mom of a girl myself, what she’s facing in a world where 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. I think, in all honesty, there’s too much in my head now surrounding this subject for me to make a clear decision. I don’t feel good about any of it. I hate that I’m in this position of choosing between my boys and my girl. I hate that it even has to be a choice – why does it have to be one at the expense of the other?

What would you do about the preschool playdate situation? What is/was the rule in your families? What do you think about Chris Brown’s interview??

DSC_0337-001

 1…2…3… NOBODY SMILE.

Tagged as: children, Chris Brown, playdates, preschool, rape, safety, sexual assault